I was recently assigned to a desk job (as per my request) during an impending investigation of a sexual harassment charge I filed against a fellow controller.  He wrote some appalling lies about me and another controller in a public forum of my peers on some stupid online game where the clan consisted of fellow controllers.  I reported it with printed proof to the chief of my building, who, in so many words, gave me the impression that "boys will be boys" and told me to "battle through it."  He did however, report it to the proper channels but acted like he had little faith that anything would come of it and proceeded to force me to go back to work on the control room floor NEXT TO the "alleged guy" (those were the chief's words, not mine).

I emphasized to him that it was a Hostile Work Environment and then the chief retaliated by saying if I didn't "feel fit" to work, then I would have to take annual or sick leave (of which I had neither.)  I filed an EEO complaint against the chief of my building for sexual discrimination because last year, a male supervisor was accused of sexually harassing a male trainee in my area and that supervisor received approximately three months of PAID ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE.  Meanwhile, I'm the victim here and I was being forced to take Leave Without Pay and the jerk who wrote those things is working as usual fat, dumb and happy.

To date, the internal investigation is over and I am expecting to hear the results of their findings by December 1st but I work for the government and no one seems to be in a hurry to get anything accomplished.  My EEO is a separate claim that I filed outside the building and that is also dragging its feet as well.  They will have suggestions on how to resolve this but I am hoping the EEO to come through with better results.

During this initial few weeks of my battle with the chief and trying to get him to do the right thing, I wrote to the senators of New York and the upper management of the FAA.  So far, Senator Gillibrand's office is the only one that is actually reviewing my case and requesting an update from the EEO.  She sent me an official letter telling me that and I'm really hoping that is the nudge the FAA needs to grant me my request.

I am requesting a permanent desk job anywhere in the agency.  Sure, that means I cant retire until I'm 62 (as opposed to 56) but I don't mind working.  I cannot see myself returning to that environment where NO ONE is accountable for their actions and such behavior is accepted by management and fellow controllers.  No one does anything to correct it and I honestly do not feel I will be protected from reprisal if I should return.  Not everyone knows the entire story so I've heard through the grapevine that rumors are swirling about me "dodging traffic" and what I did to actually certify.  Some controllers are actually wondering why I can't "take a joke!"  I can't actually stop those rumors and hearsay and it does hurt when I hear them because I worked my butt off to get certified.  But I work in a high school locker essentially and no one does anything to stand up to the selected loudmouthed bullies that have taken over the operation.  It's really horrible.  There are some controllers afraid to stand up for themselves because of retaliation.  A friend of mine who was a trainee at the same time I was training ceased her own training because she was just so disgusted with the treatment of humans in our building.  She never gave a reason why she left but she's so much happier now working in a different facility in XXX.  It's really sad that this is the culture I work in.  I heard it's only happening here in New York and the Tracon as well.

Whew, I really needed to get that out.  I'm probably going to seek counseling that's provided by the agency.  I need to work this out in my mind because I cannot explain how helpless I felt when the chief made me feel like I did something wrong for reporting it.  I didn't sleep, I barely ate and I would cry every single time I talked about it.  Those selected few that talk about me at work don't know how this feels and also don't know how to empathize.  They can't even put themselves in my shoes or imagine is this happened to their daughters, wives or girlfriends.

So that's what's going on right now.  My husband has been so supportive of me and my decisions.  He's so angry this happened and wants to inflict physical harm on the person who started it all.  He's assured me that he will support whatever decision I make even if that includes legal action.  If they don't meet my demands, I will have to go that route.  While I am currently filing an EEO, I'm not allowed to contact a lawyer.  It's one or the other, you can't do both.  I don't understand the legalities but my friend who's a federal lawyer also said this to me.

It felt good to get it out.  Some times I doubt myself if I am doing the right thing and I want to be Chinese and just say Oh forget it and drop the whole thing.  But then when I retell it, I KNOW that I'm doing the right thing and I should push forward and keep going.  My actions have inspired another female supervisor to stand up for herself and she filed against another male supervisor who was harassing her constantly.  Good.  I hope there will be some publicity on this because things HAVE to change....  Sadly, to my fellow controllers, they only see me as a slacker, traffic dogdger, lazy person and a trouble maker.  They can kiss my @ss.

Update:  The informal process of the EEO has been unresolved because basically management refused my suggestion of resolution.  So now I have the right to proceed with a formal complaint.  I've filled out the paperwork and sent it in and also contacted a lawyer for advice.  Unfortunately, due to the "lack of severity" or frequency of the harassment, I don't really have a case.  And ultimately, management granted my persistent request for a temporary staff support position so a judge can look at it and say I received what I requested.  In other words, I don't have a case that holds water.  My lawyer did say that if I were to return and should be harassed again, then I will definitely have a case.

So in other words, I have to go back to that Hostile Work Environment and be subjected to those childish idiots their stupid games:  messing with my headset, hiding my strip or just ignoring me (which has already started from a few of that jerk's supporters.)  Bumping into a few of the not-so-involved, they swear it's not as bad as I think.  It's also the same few people who don't think it's a big deal because they all know what an idiot the harasser is and how he filters nothing when he speaks.  How can I convey to my fellow coworkers that THAT does NOT make it ok!?  I am standing up for myself and yet I am made to feel like I did something wrong.  There is something seriously twisted about this whole thing.