It's been a while since I posted anything so, yes, I am still alive..... Firgured I'd catch up on some of my few friends who still post on this thing.  So far, I am utterly confused why my friend is "giving birth to blood clots" and how many pairs of sneakers does one really need?   

I feel like I've become a hermit.  Some friends chalk it up to marriage but I don't think so.  It's the G*d forsaken job that's literally sucked my soul into the depths of hell....  My schedule is total crap, I probably won't be able to see my hubby much anymore... and I absolutely HATE quickturns!  Whoever invented that should die.  Seriously.  Painfully....

You'd think after 4 or 5 months of training, I'd improve some.... well, I sure don't feel any improvement happening.  Not only that, some trainers live to make you feel like a complete idiot.  And they make sure they elevate their voice levels when they say something to you.  As if feeling dumb ON MY OWN isn't enough, they have to broadcast it to the rest of my area so they KNOW how completely stupid I am. 

This evening, I had a Syracuse push.  (Q: Why are there so many people going to Syracuse anyway????)  The freaking area that's feeding me these planes have them all coming at me, not in trail mind you, but at all different directions and speeds.  Right away, my trainer with his "infinite wisdom" and TOTAL sarcasm snorts:  "Let's see how you mess this one up!"  Thanks, Tom!!!

I get through it; putting speeds on them and separating them by altitude.  Well it doesn't help that the relieving controller who's also plugged in with me is a complete DICKHEAD and can't keep his f*cking comments to himself.  He brings it upon himself to ask me little snide questions and comments while I'm trying to clean up this bloody mess.  (Don't worry, no one died.)  He is the area b*tch... not that I'm stereotyping but seriously, he's WORSE than a woman!  

I'm being mean because I'm pissed.  I had to muster ALL my energy not to burst into tears right there and then from anger, frustration and from biting my tongue!  After briefing that asshole, I yanked my headset out, grabbed my bag and muttered to my trainer that I'll be back in an hour.  TOUGH!  I think I surprised my trainer a little because he usually sees me as a meek, nervous little mouse. 

Rant:  I really HATE the atmostphere in this facility and how there is absolutely NO HR or any kind of professionalism.  Everyone says what's on their mind and yells and screams or even curses if they want to.  No one says anything about it.  You'd think a government agency would be scheduled, have a procedure or some kind of structure???  NOPE.  Some people should NOT be trainers.  All they do is make you feel really dumb and tell you what to do.  Not WHY you have to do something but just DO it.  This is such a freaking long process.  I'm still only at my FIRST sector!!!  I have another 5 left.  It feels so hopeless sometimes.....Goddamn.... freaking training sucks.....